I think apples taste great with a hot beverage accompaniment.

I love reading people's journals, but have realised that mine if sorely neglected. ALL CHANGE!

November

I feel like an utter lazy lady of leisure currently. After the madness, longer and insanely awesome stay at Whitby, I had a few days at work to then go to the annual fireworks display at Tenterden (where Hal previously proposed) this Friday, to only just come back from beautiful Kent, straight in to work for a week before being taken to Centre Parcs by my glorious brother next week, to then have Monday 23rd (my birthday) off work also! Craziness! This may explain if I've seemed distant or simply not available. I feel I haven't stopped - in a great way - but this leaves me feeling I haven't worked nearly as hard on my music, in the office or at the gym as I should have. ALL CHANGE!

Work

- The EP is starting to take shape enough to begin to get excited about recording it all. Over the past year, we've gained members, direction, plans and, above all else, a sound. I've not been keeping up with promo as much as I should have, but our ad has been appearing in many different publications, such as Devolution and Terrorizer, which I shall continue once the EP is nearly finished recording. You'll be positively badgered with information as and when the time comes.

- I've not modelled for at least a month and I feel postively detached from it currently. I've not received a fair bit of work from shoots I had been doing over the summer, which is quite perculiar, but I have equally not returned messages that I should have for more work. This is partly due to lack of time and internet access, but mostly due to my lack of training. It may not be visible to others, but I work better once I feel more confident with my own body. This requires gym and diet focus for me and a clear vision of why on earth we're doing the shoot in the first place. I have been exceedingly lucky in the past to be approached and work with so many outstaning photographers that have become my friends. This means we enjoy working with each other again and again, growing and improving constantly. I need to get back in to it to feel I can give as much in to the shoot as others in the team do and I shall not go back thinking anything less of myself before the right time. Do a job professionally, nothing less.

Incidentally, the beautiful Nadya reminded me that I haven't posted shots in a while. I can't access sites that will show them at work, but once I get home. I'll EDIT this bit to add them!

- My mind stays in the wonderful place world of outside work and socailising, which may seem unresponsible, but it keeps me sane and feels right. However, I must job hunt once more. After having a long conversation with Hal and his father about the two people who have just won 46 million pounds each in the Euro Millions, I feel it's time to focus on my savings and things I desire. Not material - funds to support my music and my future.

Socailising

Due to Whitby, I got to see wonderful friends who live further afield, which is always cherished. I had a fantastic time and felt part of a new friendship group I hope to retain. Similarly, due to the fireworks, I was able to catch up with the dear cun'ry folk down in Ebony and nab myself a second bottle of the lethal homemade scrumpy Hal and I adore that all our party guests seem to repell. It is right. Learn this. More and more everyday I feel more of a part of Hal's family, which makes me an obsenely happy pumpkin.

Speaking of my fiance, I have had the pleasure of running all over the nation with him this month, which shall continue. I love him dearly and we are connected by an invisible strength that soothes and excites me. He is a hard-working, brilliant, driven and talented man who I will continue to support and love knowing that it is the most right thing I have ever done and felt my whole life.

Advice

- Now, it's over to you! I am itching for my new tattoo, but am unsure of every aspect of it (no, don't worry, I definately wouldn't have a tattoo without being sure of it 100%). I've been wanting a poppy for remembrance for a while now, but don't want colour work and am aware that it's quite a round shape, meaning it will alter the appearance of whatever I tattoo it on to. I had first thought of my calf, but this will make my legs appear shorted. Then, I thought of the front of my shoulder, but I find this too much of a visible tattoo for now, which I am not fully comfortable with. Another idea is on the soft part of my upper forearm, but am unsure. What do you think? Where would be good and would it really look like a poppy if only black ink was used?

- My family always endeavour to get each other brithday/Christmas/whatever gifts that are actually useful and wanted. If it's too much money, they all chip in. I know this seems a simple, logical concept, but I also appreciate that its actually quite rare to have this wonderful process. My parents are bloody brilliant and, as well as building a workstation for Hal and I, they are also prepared to take the brunt of a new computer we need for music making. A music computer. I'm a bit stuck. If ANYONE has any advise on music computer building or reccomendations, I would be much appreciated. We are currently compiling a list of needed software and hardware, but being a MAC virgin, I am unsure as to what would work on a MAC. Do we even want a MAC? Are PCs just as good? I would understand a PC better and know for a fact that what we need is compatible. Ahh... sweet, sweet confusion.

You Wonderful Lot

Come one, come all, tell me your news! Need any advice from me before I run away on holiday?

I love you and I miss you.

Thankyou and thank my Grandad.

And all that fought and fell or survived to see the freedom they protected. But remembering all sides. Always.

HURRAY! Let's be thoroughly positive! No, I'm really ok, just want to get these annoying, niggly things off my chest:

- When people begin sentences with 'listen'. It's rude. As if you deserve all attention or to insult me to say I wasn't listening in the first place.
- Similarly, when people begin sentences with the listeners name when they are already listening. Example:

"Hello! How are you?"
"I'm fine thankyou, yourself?"
"Good, good. Beth - blah blah yadda yadda..."

Often, people that do this continue to do so throughout the entire conversation. I don't need to be called up as if I've diverted my attention as soon as the last sentence has passed.
- The fact I don't update this journal. This shall be remedied shortly.
- Morrissey.

EXCITED!

...I'd rather be snuggled up with Hal watching a film. An easy film. Snuggled.

Basically got no sleep last night. It was hard to not beat up the wall beside me. I think I probably kept poor Hal up too, as I see he took some sleeping tablets during the night.

Warned my boss this morning that I've had no sleep and the cold he gave me is making me feel completely rubbish, so might leave early.

And now, a culinary (pfft!) question: I prefer warm cheese, but totally forgot about the bag of babybell (yes, it IS cheese) I left in my drawer over the weekend. So it's not seen a fridge since midday Friday. Can I still eat it? Will it make me implode? Should I just experiment to see if I can make myself feel ever queerer? YOU DECIDE!

A lady I work with is regrettably having to sell her pair of Skunk Anansie tickets for Wednesday 7th October at Electric Ballroom.

At face value, they're £50 for both, but will go lower if this transpires in to desperation selling!

I've gone over the expendable money that I had for this month anyway, despite being paid only 2 weeks ago, otherwise I'd be on those like a tramp on Ace White.

Any takers?!

On the 8:40am daily wake up call from me to Hal, the morning after the rum filled meeting in our room with Nathanael that lasted untill 4am for him:

H: Rrrrrrr... oooowwwwhhh.. grrrrr... Life is paaaaaain!
B: No, rum is pain.
H: Rum is life.

ONLYONEMORESODDINGDAYOFWORKUNTILLMYANNIVERSARYANDRUNNINGAWAYTOSCOTLANDTOWATCHLOVEDONESGETMARRIED!

Can.

Not.

Wait.

Work has been ridiculous this week. I was close to tears at one point. My body is tired. I need realigning. And I'm about to have my loooooong weekend of love.

Phew.

Here's to 3 years tomorrow and many more.

This is the end of an email I have just received from a colleague at work:

"Hope you can understand the above, bit of a novvis im afraid."

Ahem.

This morning I had a don't-skip-through-any-song-that-starts-playing-on-shuffle morning. This lead a track to begin that I could vaguely remember from the grey matter in the back of my musical memory. I was expecting it to turn in to Turin Brakes or Porcupine Tree and I'd feel elated, but as soon as Kevin Moore's vocals kicked in, a beam of fantastic happiness came over me when I realised it was Hello, Helicopter. I often skipped this track during my mammoth OSI fan era, but the biggest smile stretched across my face walking down the street. I hope people saw it and smiled also.

OSI are brilliant. With or without Mike Portnoy pbuh.

In other news, I have shoe rubbage and it's unbearable. Am walking around barefoot in the office which, although comfortable, is making me chilly. What would you reccomend I go buy at lunchtime to rememdy such a pradicament? Shoe plaster suggestions? Cream?

Found on one of the best communities on LJ - http://community.livejournal.com/vintagephoto/profile

I want to go to a wedding every day. They're smashing. Congratualtions to Ed and Julia: a consumate couple and officially hitched.

On another note - OH EM GEE - I'm wearing silver shoes. Yipee!

What the FUCK is this song. I detest it. Why - WHY does it need to exist?!

It

means

NOTHING!

Why would you even write these words? Is this attractive? Is this worthwhile? Tripe.

"I'm Lazy when I'm loving
I'm Lazy when I play
I'm lazy with my girlfriend, a thousand times a day
I'm lazy when I'm speakin
I'm lazy when I walk
I'm lazy when I'm dancin
I'm lazy when I talk

Open up my mouth
Air comes rushin out
Nothin doin nada never how you like me now?
Wouldn't it be mad, wouldn't it be fine
Lazy lucky lady dancin lovin all the time

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me?

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

There's some folks they got money &
Some folks life is sweet
Some folks make decisions &
Some folks clean the street

Now, Imagine what it feels like
Imagine how it sounds
Imagine life is perfect and every thing works out

No tears are falling from my eyes
I'm keepin all the pain inside
Now don't you want to live with me?
I'm lazy as a man can be

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

Imagine there's a girlfriend
Imagine there's a job
Imagine there's an answer
Imagine there's a God
Imagine I'm a Devil
Imagine I'm a Saint
Lazy money, lazy sexy, lazy outa space

No tears are falling from my eyes
I'm keepin all the pain inside
Now don't you want to live with me?
I'm lazy as a man can be

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

Lazy when I work
Lazy all the day
Screamin all you like but it only fades away
I'm lazy when I'm prayin
Lazy on the job
Gota lazy mind, a lazy eye, a lazy lazy bod

Hard men, Hard Lives, Hard keepin it all inside
Good times, Good God, I'm so Lazy I almost stop

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me"

Wishing this day away is making it longer.

How has this sign come to be needed?!

I am, most definately, excited.

Not only is work on the EP going so well that I'm having to choose select tracks because, quite frankly, I'm loving everything we're creating and wanting to share it all at once, but I can reveal its name;

"the black, the grey, the between"

YES! You heard it correctly. It is an amazing feeling to put flesh, blood and song together as one, but also to name it and give it its own identity so that it can cease from feeling naked and lonely and more like a complete package of eccentric and eclectic music.

Please keep checking back regularly as I am currently working on a sampler demo track just for this myspace page and a new live video is just about ready to burst on here too. Cosider this space ample for the watching

I am DOUBLY excited, because I am currently working with Motionless Visions Designs on new promo, new graphics and an entirely new look for this 'ere myspace page! More stremaline than ever before and, hoepfully, it will give you a deeper insight into my workings and musings. Plus, it'll be well pretty. Because pretty things are nice. Yes.

I am TRIIIIPLEY excited because I now appear, legitmately officially and, above all else, legally on paper. I feel it even more of a sucess due to these tough econmic climates to be able to pick up this month's issue of Terrorizer and shove page 77 RIGHT into an innocent bystander's face and say:

"That's me, that is. See? It's purple and e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I now appear in a print ad, curtosy of Eulogy Media Ltd. You just can't escape me and I wouldn't want you to. I want you here on the ride beside me and the rest of the Eulogy Media artists, having a blast and learning everything about each other. Whether you like it or not.

Don't believe me? Have a butchers!



And you can check me out also in an up and coming Devolution magazine. You know you want to.

Additionally, I've enjoyed reading the thorough and extremely well researched interview that Hal Sinden (Talanas and Eulogy Media Ltd.) has recently taken for Underground Industries UK, which you can find here. Read if you like to feel the passion and truth from both the interviewer and interviewee about amazing music and what will be happening for Eulogy Media artists SOON!

Thankyou for reading and see you in the not-so-distant future!

Flake's are so much more effort than their worth. I just found chocolate in my belly button!

In other news: SHAZAM!



Brick Lane - June 2009 - Robert Marchosias

A little preview as I am excited by his talent.

Holy coffee induced extreme paranoia and anxiousness, Batman!